Archive for My Wife Cheated on Me Now What
My Wife Cheated on Me… Now What?!
Posted by: | CommentsYou may feel like you’ve been kicked in the gut. Or your head is spinning so much that you can’t make sense of anything. Maybe you’re still thinking that it can’t be true. Could be all those feelings and more swirling around right now. No matter how you describe it, your world has been turned upside down. The one person you should have been able to trust above all others has betrayed you.
Understand that you’ll have good days and bad days. Sometimes you’ll still feel as angry, hurt and confused as when you first found out that your spouse was cheating on you. That’s okay. You don’t need to figure it out, just roll with it. On the good days, make sure you enjoy it. So often, when we’ve gone through a difficult time in our lives, we feel like we have to suffer the whole time until…well, until when? That’s just it. This is a process, and you will have relatively good days. Let them be good days. Don’t try to make yourself mad about the affair just because you think that’s how it “should” be.
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She told you herself… a friend let you know… you caught her in the act… all those small changes finally added up… it really doesn’t matter how you found out about it. Now you know, and you have to deal with it. But how?Too often, we get advice from self-proclaimed relationship gurus who tell you to remain calm and rational. Speak in terms of “I” so you don’t come across as blaming… That’s crap! You know it and they know it. Keep in mind that you can never – NEVER – get physical, even when your blood is boiling. But you can, and you should, let her know exactly what’s on your mind.
We’re all very different, and some men hardly, if ever, let their emotions out. This is one of those times when you can let go and let it out. Not only is it okay to cry as you’re dealing with your wife’s affair, it’s healthy too. You need it emotionally and, some studies have shown, physically, too. Because tears help to rid your body of stress hormones, you’ll be helping your body heal by crying if you need to. You have every right to let it all out in no uncertain terms. By getting married, you both made a deep, vital commitment to each other, and that commitment relies on mutual trust. Now, by having an affair, your wife has ripped that promise in two. If you’re ever going to get past this, whether you decide to stay together or not, you need to let her know exactly the pain she has caused. Don’t measure your words. Don’t look for the perfect way to say it. Try not to talk about divorce at this point, and there’s no need to call her names, but otherwise you should be as raw as your emotions. Just tell it like it is. |
Once you think you’re at a point where you can really weigh all your options and discuss them with your wife, your next step will be to figure out whether you want your relationship with her to continue. I’ll have some information on that stage of the process soon on my wife cheated on me dot Net. In the meantime, just know that you WILL get through it.
